Hard to go!

I have loved working at this company. I joined here as a fresher and was immediately inducted in a team destined to prepare consultants for future. We were supposed to travel around the world proposing and implementing solutions to/for clients in the emerging field of Enterprise Communications. The present was a dream, the future was irresistible.

We researched on the product and worked comprehensively in full team spirit. We complemented each other and discussed problems to enhance efficiency. Soon, some of us went on their first overseas assignment. They excelled there and came back with huge earnings. We were happy for each other. But everybody wanted his share of pie. Visas were being filed for each of us and it was hard to believe that we could land in the US. The recession took toll on most of our clients and our partner's business was impacted significantly. The call never came and we hang on idle for almost a year.

Frustrated by the 'no work syndrome', I began to feel nervous. I had never dreamt of a service where my fate was so dependent on external factors. I wanted to strengthen my base in a technology rather than a product. But, that was not to be.

I sped up my preparations for management post-graduation. This was my last weapon to escape from IT. Earlier I had failingly tried to secure a PSU service and an Engineering Services berth. During the office hours, I would solve oral questions and improve my English. After reaching home, I would solve questions from the test booklets. I was purposely living alone in a rented room. Each morning, I made it a point to walk for half an hour. That used to freshen me up. Me and my friends used to have laughable conversations in the office bus. As soon as I reached office, the mandate for the day was very understandable. Citing free time, I planned to enhance my English speaking skills, reading speed and vocabulary. These take time and are essential too.

My resolve reaped dividends and I secured a healthy percentile in CAT. During preparations days also, my first priority was always work. It was only in the absence of work that I forayed into self goals. I was always ready to take responsibility. Writing code was surprisingly easy for me. It was a welcome sight that I got some chances to take lead and contribute handsomely to projects. Knowing within that I have to leave the organisation shortly, I would enjoy every bit of work. Impressed with my quality of work, the management offered me to work at Chennai for few months. The times were not good, so I had little options. Final frontiers - Group Discussion and Personal Interview demanded good preparations. Joining a coaching class gave a platform to practice in real like situations. But, me being a default introvert and everyone eager to speak, I was unable to get that edge.

Becoming a trainer to impart knowledge about a product certainly helped. That shackles of hesitation and uncertainty about appearance were broken. I could fearlessly speak my mind. Everything was falling in place. The last thing I wanted was a relocation. Yes, the call came at a wrong time. I had a GD/PI on 8th Feb, which coincided with my travel to Chennai. I had two options -

1. To resign and prepare for GD/PI in Gurgaon
2. To continue work and fly for GD/PI evaluations from Chennai to north.

I didn't want to risk my job. I had indeed planned to skip every GD/PI call and make progress in this company. On 7th Feb, a Friday, I was cooling around with my friends from the same company. Me having a habit of asking for advice, opened up my thoughts for judgment. To my surprise, they criticized my decision and bereaved the resulting lost opportunity. One jokingly even asked me to forgo candidature and let him sit instead.

The past unfolded and my choice to shun television for a year, reading english articles daily and other related preparations came to the mind. I deserved selection, I thought. Keeping up with this conviction, I decided to attend the GD/PI of the best college I was offered. I arranged flight tickets between Chennai and Delhi. Soon the day arose and I was there, competing with some 100 aspirants. The GD was a commotion and the interview was a brain stormer. For me, it was imperative that I perform to my best ability. I think I did.

The headache was over and I went back to Chennai. The result mattered less, the effort was there. I almost forgot and resumed my assignment. So involved was I in the challenging work that I began to enjoy the little successes. Pouching extra bucks was a motivation and I was bent to justify it. Going by the comments received for my work, I felt victorious. This amazing feeling was so rare. Its sad that it was short lived since I had cleared the GD/PI and was about to receive the admission offer letter.

I had to decide. The decision was taken after long discussions with my father and other family members. They backed me to follow my heart. Soon, the Chennai days ended and I went back to my hometown. I had resigned from the job. I am proud of my decision.